Classroom Learning

This is a challenging teaching job.  There are many challenging aspects to it, many questions that it inspires.  What is the most important thing that I teach?  Why are we all doing this?  What is the role of education in society, or public education?  What is knowledge, what does it mean to be educated?

The scholars that are in my class are varied.  There are some that have a hard time sitting still, have a hard time giving attention to something that isn't interesting to them.  Some are more capable of putting things together, of synthesizing, than others.  Four of them are beginners three have played for a year and this poses a challenge as the new ones need a lot of input to get them actually playing.  But these are all challenges that have possibilities and as challenging as it is, it is also engaging.

But a week ago, in the perpetual effort to get them onboard, I slipped, and yelled at them.  It was a mistake or a moment of weakness and I felt terrible after it.  I made it to the end of my extended day, walked in the door of my apartment and cried.  Teaching has the ability to eat one up, because in principle, everything is under your control but only to the extent that those who you are teaching give you that control.  Only to the extent that you earn it.  It hurts to be ignored in the classroom.  It hurts to be ignored in life, and yet when I look at adults, I realize that many have still not learned.  It is a skill that one must acquire, some more naturally than others.  Listening.  It's one of the most valuable things that one can learn to do.

I've been doing a fair amount of reading to understand the context of charter schools in education.  Diane Ravitch offered an interesting definition of what it is to be well-educated:  "The well-educated person has learned how to explain ideas and listen respectfully to others."  I like this because it implies that nothing else is needed to be "well-educated."  That to be "well-educated" is to have these skills.  We think of education as years and years of inputs and it is important to know things, but more valuable is being able to have the skills to interact with ideas.  Articulation and engaged listening seem quite pertinent.

I want to teach my scholars to listen.  When I've engaged them in reflections on why it is important to listen, often their answers come back to getting in trouble if they don't, or perhaps missing information.  These are very good motivations for them to have and completely appropriate for being 10-year-olds.  But I would like to broaden and deepen their understanding of the importance.  And I don't know how to do that.

The answer certainly not yelling.  And since that day, I decided to just keep trying.  I gave up on my lesson plans that day and I've decided to no longer do that.  Everyday, to keep trying, changing based on what I'm learning but to keep trying.  There are a number of things that make this a uniquely challenging situation but I have to find ways to work with them.  They have no idea how difficult they are and why that is hurtful to all of us.  And I have no idea what they need.

But I know that they need more chances to be successful and fewer chances to fall off the behavior wagon.  And so tomorrow I will try a restructured break and new method for transitions.  I will try to get as much playing or various kind of musical interaction as possible.  I will try to break them up into groups so they can work with one another.  I will try to time everything and just keep moving.

And I will try to continue to maintain a tone that is mine, a tone that is the courtesy and respect I want them to hear and to have.  A tone that has trust rather than fear or confrontation.  I need to strengthen that tone so that it is demanding but still loving.  We all have things to learn in this.