A student of mine accidentally bumped my end pin causing my cello to fall and cracking the bridge. I was pretty upset but did my best not to show him. It wasn't until after the lesson that I had an opportunity to share with him the importance of being more careful, based on his handling of his own instrument. There seemed little benefit to allowing my emotions to fall onto him at the beginning of our lesson and to take a punitive tone throughout.
Unfortunately, he can be a somewhat careless kid, and I imagine other things like this have happened to him before. I also remember, not a concrete instance, but the feeling of guilt and upset from having caused some similar offense. My body did something that I wouldn't have chosen it to do, had I only understood what that meant. But why give him these feelings. It won't put my cello back together and it won't make him a more graceful person. If anything "positive" would come of that approach, it would be that he would stifle himself from fear and keep his body suppressed under his control. Maybe more cellos would be happy, but I think something more would be lost.
I think he listened better to my words at the end of the lesson, after 30 minutes of good work and a (I hope) more positive tone. It is not him personally that I was speaking to, but his behavior, and the goal that we be more careful.
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