Allowing Vulnerability

I tend to assume that people act out of kindness, or ignorance, or fear.  I saw a lot of all of these things in my lessons today.  With more experience, I will likely come to better anticipate the lull that happens over a break, especially one that allows for family and fun vacations.  Perhaps I will do more to prevent it, and perhaps I will do more to accept it and move forward.

As a teacher I'm in a position of power.  They come to me having or not having practiced.  It's interesting to see who people are in this state.  Some scenarios are apologetic emails followed by contrite and humble lessons.  Others, defensive posturing and avoidance.  Others, friendly distractions.  Children are so honest, people are so honest, even if not open.

I wrote briefly about my dance experience yesterday.  It occurred to me during that class that the young girl who was obviously a dancer but for whom this was a first (ish?) Graham class, felt quite differently than I did.  She is a "dancer."  When we have expectations, or think others have them of us, it's quite different than if we are open.  Not being 20 years old, or having any designs on a career or even full proficiency in this method, my discomfort is far less personal.  I have the option to be more open and in some ways, more resilient to my failings.   I can observe them the way that I observe my students do things that are completely natural but incorrect.  Things for which I understand the cause.

We act as we do for reasons.  Sometimes for or from love, sometimes because we are afraid, sometimes because we don't know what our actions are doing or where they come from.  But perhaps we can identify the feeling of discomfort and from there open the chest, and expose ourselves to ourselves.